water process and patience

Why was I drawn to the water that day? I was on another treasure hunt, looking for something intangible. I hate that place of knowing I need something but not knowing what it is.

I left the muck and mire of my life and went out in search of that unknown thing. I had been feeling a little stuck in my life, trapped underneath the dishes and toilets and laundry and relentlessness of schedules. I needed to catch a breath.

And I saw so many beautiful things that day. I captured them in my camera lens so I could bring them home with me. And all of it helped, but the water seemed to haunt me a little more than anything else.

Pure and clear, the water was quite a contrast to my muddled and murky heart that day. I was filled with both my own humanity and that of others, covered in confusion. I wanted to be cleaned off.

I longed for the peaceful sound the water made swirling into itself to leave a few drops of serene on me. I wanted the beautiful white noise of the water to drown out the sounds of my world.

And I wanted the water to smooth out my rough edges, much like I saw it had done to parts of the steps it was pouring down. Water has this amazing capacity to wear down mountains and round off the sharpest of corners. Water can take a large and cutting boulder and reduce it to a smooth river rock.

The thing is, that all takes time. It is not instant and often does not feel like it is happening at all. I believe we call such transformational journeys process. And sometimes that process of being cleaned off and soul-soothed requires more of my patience than I want it to.