for the love of waiting……

“Well….this is different,” I thought. I’ve done this sort of thing before. But as usual with this third child, the experience seems familiar and foreign all at once. So it goes with an evolving person.

We were late to preschool this morning, but I decide not to get stressed out about it, like I sometimes do. What matters more than being on time is being together. This is Mom’s Morning, after all.

And at our preschool, Mom’s Morning is a special time for moms to be with their kids at preschool. Snapping at my son to hurry him up so I don’t look bad in front of all the other moms is no way to get that started. Instead, I immerse myself in the process of getting there rather than the result of being punctual.

The teachers have an art project all laid out for us. Picture frames. But of course Zachary has to stop in at the bathroom to wash hands before we get started.

Instead of coming with him to move things along, I stay outside and wait. I remind myself his independence is more important than my desire for control.

We eventually find a spot and Zachary gets going on the frame. Gluing treasures on pre-assembled, brightly painted popsicle sticks.

He doesn’t seem to need my input. He gets lost in his project. I watch as he maneuvers a dollop of glue onto a stick and carefully moves it over to his frame.

His hand hovers over the wooden containers on the table, lightly touching each of his options. Feathers. Buttons. Shells. Smooth glass rocks. He is considering. This is his creative process.

He repeats the steps with the occasional rogue string of glue landing on his hands somewhere. He tries to rub it off, but remains unsatisfied. He excuses himself to wash his hands. He does not like sticky fingers.

He comes back to the table and focuses back on his work. He is careful, thoughtful. I fall in love watching him.

The second time he gets up to wash his hands (particularly sticky glue), I notice from my seat that most of the other children are done with their project and have moved on to other activities.

I feel a shove from the old me to hurry Zachary along. God forbid we don’t keep the same pace as the others. Then someone would have to wait for us. Although really, would that be so bad? What treasure might they find? What might you?

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8 thoughts on “for the love of waiting……

  1. This made me giggle with delight at your enjoyment of him and noticing the process and with recognition of the same concept we’ve talked about-process vs. product and my own struggles with it! You so beautifully highlighted the enjoyment of process and the job of allowing process we as parents are best off recognizing-THANK YOU for how this will be a gentle reminder to consider more the work for me than the opinions of others! Love you!!

    • Rebecca Koo says:

      Thank you, Karen! Great to hear this from you. Yes, the process. Not every day is like the one I wrote about here, but that is part of my process, right? Thanks for always cheering me on!

  2. Simon Marsh says:

    Priceless, Rebecca. Just priceless. Thank you. What a startlingly wonderful and prophetic suggestion your little chap’s morning presents us with. Considering. Creative. Focus. Careful. Thoughtful. Working at his own pace. Of course you fell in love with him! And what a treasure of an artwork you and he now share. He did need your input. Like you need his. Together you just lived IN a parable, and from within it you “fall in love with him”. Now look in your mirror.

    Considering. Creative. Focus. Careful. Thoughtful. Working at her own pace. Of course you … x

    • Rebecca Koo says:

      Oh Simon! Thank you my dear friend! This is what I was trying to write in my last post. I had to come back, like you said before….and thank you for your words once again. Your parishioners are lucky to have you as you care for others so well! (And I love that you used the word “chap”! So fun to hear your accent!)

  3. I needed to head this. What a great way to look at it – as their creative process. We often get so caught up in hurrying them along. Great post!

    • Rebecca Koo says:

      Thank you so much, Tammy! Always glad to have you here! I was surprised myself by discovering the words “creative process” when I was writing. Hadn’t really put that together until it came out on screen! Thank you!

  4. Suz says:

    Becca,
    Again I so enjoy the way you seem to express so many feelings that I have an struggle with. Through this, I see how I so struggle with process versus product! The perfectionist side of me screams hurry but when I can take the time to wait especially with my boys, life is so much sweeter. I wish I could remember that more often! Thanks for sharing! I just love your voice and word choice!!

    • Rebecca Koo says:

      Thank you, thank you, thank you Suz! I am so tickled to receive this and so glad you find yourself here as well! I am right here with you in the struggle….you are not alone!

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