How could I have almost missed this moment? His eyes danced with the sun while they shined with joy and a sparkle that makes my insides go crazy. The skin on his cheeks looked rich as butter and flawless as porcelain. We were being taken up and away from life down on earth. For a few moments we hung in the air as the skyfari took us from one side of the World Famous San Diego Zoo to the other. And it was bliss.
And I realized in those moments how glad I was that I had made the time to be there with him. Just my youngest son and me. His older brothers and I did this much more frequently. But the more people in our family, the more practicality seems to necessarily out weigh fun.
But today I could hear the zoo calling us and I was willing to answer. So I left the dishes in the sink, the dirty clothes in the closet, the half written post on the computer, and the emails I am so far behind on in my inbox. I packed up a pbj and apple slices and off we went.
But I second-guessed myself the whole morning. Did I pick the right ball to juggle today? The elementary school had a short day that would cut our time at the zoo short, so maybe we shouldn’t go. The house has to get cleaned sometime, and today is house-cleaning day. I also have some writing I really need to get to.
And through the entire internal battle, I had this nagging feeling like I needed to take Zachary to the zoo. But my uncertainty in what to juggle this morning left me feeling a little like a failure at everything. And I was beating myself up on that skyfari for not being a better juggler.
However, even through that beating up, the moment of beauty and love imprinted itself on me and a few days later I could see it for what it was. A reminder that I am loved no matter how much I question myself or how poorly I juggle.